There is nothing wrong with pleasing people, as long as you know your limits. Doing things to make
others happy is the right way to grow your social circle and develop lasting relationships. However, if a
nice gesture to impress or satisfy somebody else makes you miserable, that is bad news. People pleasers
tend to always put others first, whilst ignoring their own wants and needs. They believe that if they will
not cater to every whim of all the people in their life, they will end up losing or disappointing them. How
can someone be happy when they are constantly worried about how others feel? It is understandable to
go out of the way for a few people who are very dear to you, but sacrificing your goals and values for
absolutely anyone is sheer madness. What do you gain at the end of the day? Moreover, is it even worth
Don’t Lose Your Identity
People pleasers lose their identity on the path of serving others selflessly. Whenever you are making an
important decision, focus on how it will affect you instead of thinking about what others will feel or say. For instance, if your parents want you to be a doctor, but your passion lies in IT, enrolling in medical
school will be your life’s greatest regret. Be true to yourself and let others know what you really want.
Your opinions and desires might surprise them, but they will support you if they genuinely care for you.
Hiding your pain behind a fake smile or poker face might fool people, but you can never escape your
Your Efforts Will Never Be Enough
No matter how much you sacrifice for people’s sake, they will never fully appreciate it. You could take a
bullet for someone and they wouldn’t even utter a solemn ‘thank you’ to your dead body. Some people
don’t expect anything and some expect too much; hence, your attempts to woo either are in vain. You
will keep bending backward for someone’s approval and they will give you space to try harder.
Acknowledge the fact that getting into everybody’s good books is impossible; in fact, your life
People Will Take You for Granted
People pleasers are always giving and are never receive anything in return. The people you wait to
know that they can always count on you, so they will only use you to their advantage. You might be
under the impression that you are important to them, when you are in fact nothing more than a pawn,
i.e. a means to an end. Once your usefulness is exhausted, these people will immediately discard and
Learn to Respect Yourself
Bear in mind that people will never respect you unless you respect yourself. Stick to your values and
preserve your dignity. Would you jump off a cliff to please someone? Would your heart be content in
defending someone who committed domestic violence and felony murder? If your first answer to both questions was not a resounding ‘no’, you should probably visit a psychiatrist. Listen to your heart for a
change and put your mind at ease.
Saying ‘No’ Will Liberate You
People pleasers have a hard time saying ‘No’ for obvious reasons. If you lack the time, will, and energy
to do something, just say so. Concentrate on fulfilling your own objectives and agendas. Being there for
a friend or helping somebody sort out their problems is only fruitful if you can put your heart into it.
Liberate yourself from futile responsibilities and challenges to please yourself.
John Adams is a lifestyle blogger who creates content focused on healthcare and personal well-being.
He encourages readers to improve their quality of life by incorporating positive thoughts and actions.
Blogging about personal opinions and life experiences makes him happy, and he is always open to
constructive criticism. You can reach him at firstname.lastname@example.org