“Don’t Go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”Mark Twain
We all have some expectations from somebody, may be spouse, friends, relatives etc. But how do you feel when somebody doesn’t come through as per your expectations!! You feel bad & angry. Questions like ” When I was there with the bad times, she should also be there in my hardships!! Don’t you think these are common notions when we extend help??
I will tell you mine, There are many people in my life to whom I have help by all means when they required. When I was in need, I can’t found any of them standing for me. This has really given me a bad taste of life. After more than 10 years, I have a realization moment!! I met, son of my colleague, on weekends (Sometimes we have to go to office because of special edition release) he usually bring his kid on Saturday. I was Chit Chatting with my new friend. I asked him about his school, teachers , and friends. He was simply replying to my questions and slowly he opened up. I let him play on My computer ( little bribe wins heart :)) We were friends. I asked him about his best friend, His answer just moved me, He said that John ( Let’s call his friend that) is his best friend and he likes to play with John. But in classroom, John doesn’t sits with him. He said John sits with his best friend. Before I could say anything, He said -“It’s ok, If he has some another best friend not me but he is my best friend and we play together. It’s fun. I looked at him, I was amazed and also feeling immature in front of him. For all these years, I was acting immature and I helped my friends because I helped on my own will & wanted to do it. It is not compulsion that they have to help me in the same manner. Look at him , He has no expectation and also didn’t make compulsory for John to accept him as his best friend. This is John’s choice. He was happy playing with him. Crystal clear, he did not make his relationship confusing with John. They both are happy. Sometime, we should learn from kids, They behave more mature than us!!
My point here is simple, when we give or help anybody, we should not lay any expectation that they will return in the same manner. You have given or helped because you wanted it. You helped him because that made you happy. That’s the truth!! You helped somebody because you wanted to help, They might have looked upon you for help but the decision of helping someone is totally yours. When you helped- Did you make any condition that “you will also help me when I am in trouble?”.
Mantra of living a happy life- Make your life simple Don’t complicate it. When you start expecting with people, you make a cobweb inside your mind that S/he should do this for me. With more expectations from people, you make more cobwebs, these cobwebs ultimately complicate your life & make it difficult to pass through.
I know you will say, That it’s not a done deal , that I am the only person who gives & never gets anything in return. You have given because you wanted to give, It made you happy! If you want something, give yourself, why to wait for someone else to give? Besides, If you don’t enjoy giving then don’t! As simple as that!! Why create expectations??
Steve Jobs, founder of Apple company, He was kicked out by Apple’s board of directors , a company which he created from scratch! He took a few Apple employees with him & created a Company NEXT. In 1997, Apple acquired Next & Steve Jobs became CEO of Apple once again. Just Imagine, If Steve Jobs had created way too much expectation on Apple, he would have been in depression & might not have created a successful company called Next, which ultimately made Apple’s board to acquire the NEXT and accept him as a CEO.
Focus on your work , your goals & targets!!.. This will surely make you successful. Direct all your mind’s strength and focus towards your goal. The joy & happiness which you will get from here, You may not get anywhere else. Expectations from somebody usually give heart breaks and broken relationships. Somebody will do as per your expectation is not in your hand but doing stuff that you wanted is certainly in your hand!!
So just go out and take a deep breath & remove all the negativity and expectations. And also in future, always remember that you are helping because it makes you happy!! You are just doing it for yourself!!!
Cheers to life & to YOU!!!
Also Read my another motivational Blog post- https://happiness2u.com/2020/09/06/how-many-people-are-you-carrying-with-yourself/
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